National Coming Out Day falls every year on October 11, so for those of you who are struggling with coming out, he’s a guide I wrote!
So you’re gay and you need to come out. This is how to tell your:
Dog – Dogs are not judgmental. I guarantee they will still come sniffing around your crotch.
Parents – “Mum, Dad. I have acknowledged my sexual identity to myself and now I want to tell you that I’M A MUFF MUNCHER!!”
Brother – “Hey bro, remember when you used to sit on my head and fart in my face? Remember when you spat in my mouth? Remember all those times you punched me? Remember when your football kit smelled like your girlfriend’s pussy?
Sister – “So that’s why you found your vibrator in a harness.”
Best Straight Girlfriend – “So can I feel your tits now?”
Best Straight Male Friend – “And then I had a THREESOME the other night with 2 other slutty lesbians.”
Ex Boyfriend – “So you see, it wasn’t just because you had a small dick.”
Lesbian Friends – “So do you wanna lick my pussy now?”
The world – Run naked down the street shouting “I’M HERE, I’M QUEER, I’M A PUSSY ENGINEER”.
On a serious note, come out when you’re ready, when it feels right for YOU. Good luck!